Birthday Blues

How do you feel on your birthday? 

Has it passed already? Or is it coming up? Or do you still have a long way to go since it is only March? 

Mine was today. 

Overall, it was great! I got to spend time with my loved ones, eat great food, receive gifts, and enjoy an amazing cake! 

It was more of the emotion leading up to my birthday that was a little puzzling. Looking back, I have really looked forward to my birthdays, but starting a few years ago, it was more of a sentimental feeling. I started reflecting on myself this year vs. a year ago. It felt like not much had changed, and that I had not achieved enough. I was also experiencing anxiety from the pressure that I was not “living it up.” But what does that even really mean? 

Instead of just shying away from my deeper thoughts, I asked a series of questions to get to the bottom of my thoughts. Here is what I have learned about them. 

A lot of it was stemming from fear. Fear that I was growing older and that my younger days are behind me. Fear that I have not checked off my list. Fear that I am not exactly where I want to be. 

Fear, in fact, is a human response. Fear is essential in detecting danger or threat. It is needed for human survival. This led me to think that maybe the fear of getting older is also an instinct, as I realize that my days on Earth are shortened by a year, now that I am a year older. I am naturally feeling that I have one less year to “live.” 

This sounds sad, but it really is not. That is just how it is. No one, to my knowledge, is immoral. We all come to Earth and leave Earth. That is an extremely natural part of life, and fear that stems from our instinct of “running out of time” is also very natural. 

Feeling pressured to settle down and find purpose in life, and a list of things that should already have been accomplished are societal pressures; more fundamentally, however, the sentimental feeling attached to birthdays may be related to human instinct. 

Acknowledging this really helped me feel at ease. As you approach your next birthday, and if you are feeling one of the birthday blues, I recommend that you take these five steps: 

1. Write down how you feel. Just start writing. Doesn’t have to be full sentences. It could just be a few words. 

2. Listen to your favorite music.

3. Treat yourself. Get yourself a small gift. 

4. Go on a nice walk. 

5. Pat yourself on the back for all your achievements, or lack thereof.